


kiss me or kill me, she might love me

by melanoradrood



Series: Universes Made Just For You And I [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Ficlet Collection, Fluff, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-06-24 12:46:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15630963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/melanoradrood/pseuds/melanoradrood
Summary: Cassian's evening in a nutshell: Bodhi is almost always right. OR: Don’t punch Han Solo. OR: Tequila Shot for every time you fuck up.





	kiss me or kill me, she might love me

**Author's Note:**

> AU: Modern  
> Word Count: 1562  
> Rating: Teen  
> Warnings: None  
> Prompt: None

**OR** : Bodhi is almost always right.  
 **OR** : Don’t punch Han Solo.  
 **OR** : Tequila Shot for every time you fuck up.

* * *

“Ouch, Bodhi! I think I’ve been hit enough for one - that hurts!”

“Yeah, and you deserve it,” Bodhi says, handing over the bag of ice. He hits Cassian upside the back of the head once more, and really, his friend should be grateful that he’s not giving him a matching black eye from the one that Han Solo had given him not even an hour earlier.

“Deserve it? I was just assaulted at a bar-”

“Because you went over and insulted Han, and then started talking about how Jyn always chose assholes, and he was the biggest one of all. You should be glad that Jyn didn’t hear you say what you did, otherwise, I would be digging a hole right now.”

Cassian gasped in horror, honestly a little louder than it should be because he did know where Bodhi’s true allegiance lay, but still, to hear it to his face - “You would help Jyn bury my body? Bodhi, I’m hurt.”

“I’d say a few nice words,” Bodhi said with a heavy lace of sarcasm that sounded more like Kay’s. “Here lies Cassian Andor, biggest damned fool in the universe.”

Cassian scoffs at him, wincing as the bag of ice touches his skin. He’s shocked that there were no broken bones, between his nose and Han’s hand.

Maybe he had deserved it, but really, Han Solo? Jyn was now dating Han Solo?

“Oh, and in case you were not already afraid for your life…” The way that Bodhi’s words hang off are purposeful, because he knows something that Cassian doesn’t. Something that makes Bodhi very glad that Cassian’s phone was broken in the fall after the punch. “Leia is ready to kill you for punching her boyfriend.”

Boyfriend.

Boyfriend.

Leia.

There’s a canyon of silence between them, with Bodhi crossing his arms and raising his eyebrow, and Cassian processing the words, his only movement a few blinks. It hurts too much, though, and he returns the bag to his eye.

“Han is dating Leia?”

The words are practically a whisper, which should speak to the gravity of this situation. Cassian was only silent for two reasons - he was waiting for someone to tell him something he had dragged out of them without even realizing… or because he was so lost in thought, he couldn’t process words to respond. It was definitely the latter, in this situation.

“She’s on the warpath, but Jyn, not knowing what started it, calmed her down. Mentioned how much tequila you drank.”

“It wasn’t the tequila-” Cassian says, interrupting his friend, but Bodhi is raising a hand, ready to hit him again.

“Of course it wasn’t the tequila. You hit Han because you thought he was buying a drink for Jyn, because you waltz in, see them at the bar for ten minutes, drink every single shot that Luke ordered, and then proceeded to waltz over there, without even bothering to ask anyone why the two of them were over there.”

Cassian says nothing for a moment, then finally asks. “Why were Jyn and Han sitting at the bar together?”

Bodhi lets out an exagerated sigh, because he has been waiting all night for this question, ever since Cassian had walked in with murder in his eyes.

“Because Han and Jyn are planning Leia’s birthday party. The drink he was buying her? It’s because she bought the first round.”

That… made sense. Of course it did. Jyn and Han drank the same thing, made sense for only one of them to pull out their wallet, and no one would ever let either of them start a tab because they were known for drinking more than they had in their bank accounts, so…

“Fuck. Does Jyn know what I said?”

“... Are you still breathing?”

Right. Because Jyn would actually kill him if she found out that he had gone straight up to Han Solo, one of her oldest friends, had threatened him for daring to ask Jyn out, who deserved better than either of them, and had then told him that he would beat the shit out of him any day for actually going around breaking Jyn’s heart. Oh, and then there had been comments about how he played around with Leia’s heart bad enough, never actually sealing the deal, so he shouldn’t use Jyn as a rebound.

He had deserved that hit.

“Fuck, I don’t even know why I care so much-”

“Oh, cut the shit,” Bodhi said, and he wasn’t even looking up from his phone, fiddling with the buttons. “We both know it’s because you’re in love with Jyn.”

“Ah-” Cassian went to dispute it, but Bodhi was right. Of course he was right. He was always right, and Cassian had quit denying it to himself months ago. Maybe he should stop denying it to his friends as well.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, fuck. You just got into a fight with probably the only person, other than us, that Jyn trusts enough to know about her past. And all because you were jealous.”

Cassian just groans into his hands, ice pack forgotten on the counter, and he really wishes he were more drunk, so that he could forget all of this.

“I… fuck, I should tell her. You don’t even have to tell me that I should do it, because I already know, Bo. I’ve been meaning to, I want to, but it seems like every time I work up the courage, she’s bringing someone new around the group, and she has been single for two months since that Brad guy-”

“Fucking Brad,” Bodhi mutters, and Cassian murmurs his agreement, because really, fuck that guy.

“She has… Bodhi, I love her, and I mean that both as in love and as a friend, but she has terrible taste in men. And then I think, if that’s what she wants in a relationship, is it because that’s all she thinks she can get, or is that her type, because I’m - I’m not the kind of guy to try and smack her around, even if she does kick their ass in response, and I’m not the kind of guy to go out and cheat on her, and-”

“Yeah, Jyn has shit taste in men, but haven’t you ever wondered why she picks guys that are pretty much the exact opposite of you… other than tonight, that is.”

And yeah, Bodhi is right, because getting in a fight with another man over a woman they both care about is definitely something that one of the assholes Jyn normally dated would do. Was he becoming like them, or was he just hitting his limit?

Cassian groaned again, and then finally shook his head. The tequila was wearing off, and now his face, and his fist, really hurt.

“It’s because she’s trying to get over you. And honestly, Cassian, I’m not repeating this, because she’s going to kill me as it is for saying it, but she’s literally trying to get past you by dating anyone that’s not like you. That’s why she always goes for blondes that tower over her and are dumber than sticks - because she doesn’t want to see you in them.”

Cassian is sputtering, because of course, he wanted Jyn to like him in response, he wanted to think he had a chance, wanted to think that she might care for him as well, but it was a cycle - she dated someone, they treated her like shit, she broke up with them, she ended up on Cassian’s couch too angry to even cry, and then a few weeks later, by the time he was ready to tell her the truth -

She brought someone else around.

There’s a bottle of tequila in his freezer, and suddenly, Cassian needs liquid courage. Bodhi is messing with his phone, which gives him enough time to pull out the bottle, take a few swigs, and return it. Right, that was - ice cold, and then it burned, and it was a damn good thing he was Mexican because otherwise, he wouldn’t be able to gulp it like that.

“Give me your phone,” Cassian says, and Bodhi just looks at him like he’s insane.

“You’re not drunk dialing Jyn,” he says, and Cassian scoffs.

“I need an Uber, so that I can go to Jyn, and tell her the truth.”

Bodhi just grins at him, pockets his phone, and shakes his head.

“I’ll be by in the morning to either bury your body, or bring more condoms. I’m hoping you have some now.”

There’s a knock at the door, and Cassian doesn’t know what to say, because fuck, fucking fuck, fuck-

“Leia told Jyn that you were defending her honor, and thought that Han was trying to use her. You owe Leia a bottle of wine, by the way. I do believe that’s Jyn now, and she left both laughing and crying Leia’s place. Apparently, they had the same conversation we just did.”

Cassian is frozen in place for all of ten seconds, and then he’s opening the freezer, removing the bottle, and draining the last ounce or so. Right. Because Jyn Erso, the woman he has been in love with for most of his adult life, is about to walk into his apartment…

And she’s either going to kill him or kiss him.

“Good luck, Casanova.”


End file.
